This is a series of Tweets I posted as I read Harry Potter and The Cursed Child for the first time. I should have posted them as a thread, alas. But I am fairly unbeknownst of Twitter’s trends. Hence, I am re-posting the tweets here, as is, for this is my safe place:

5 years after the last movie released… Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. Let’s do this!

These people are in their late 30s. Seriously, who wrote this? They’re behaving as if they haven’t aged a day over 12. Ron needs to be held back by Ginny because Malfoy remarked against Hermione. In the middle of a Ministry of Magic General Body Meeting!

The characters in HP don’t seem to grow up at all. They hold high school grudges into their 30s and 40s, and behave so immaturely.

Why is Ginny still treated as a supporting character? I would have loved to see her being more like Mrs. Weasley (Molly) to her kids.

Because shit only gets serious when there’s time travel involved. Why stop at Cedric Diggory? How can we prevent all the deaths? Hmm.

Maybe we could go all the way back and make sure Tom Riddle is never born? Make the Gaunt lady’s love potion go bad or something.

Come on, Albus! Don’t you want to save them all? How about a scarless dad? And grandparents who are alive! How’s that sound??

So Myrtle readily agreed to be in on the plan? If I were her, I would be more interested in bringing myself back from the dead first.

Ron is a nervous wreck. I had no idea marrying a different woman can change a man so much. #RelationshipGoals redefined.

Times have changed. Umbridge and Co. have no problems saying Voldemort’s name. They have dropped the ‘Lord’ prefix too.

Cursed Child was clearly written by an American. Because they spelt Valour incorrectly. #ForVoldemortAndValor

So, humiliation is what drives a Hufflepuff to become a Death Eater, under laboratory conditions. #CedricDiggory

That escalated quickly.

A spontaneous chemical reaction will still happen even if the two ingredients are mixed 40 years apart.

Words like ‘valor’ and ‘discombobulated’ make you think American but then they go ahead and use DD/MM/YY as the date format.

The whole Fidelius Charm and Secret Keeper thing isn’t very effective. Everybody can see Lily and James, it seems.

That wrapped up rather quickly…

Overall: 6/10 (includes extra points for character familiarity)


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