Crush ’em Hard

Have you read The Story of a Crush, and a Friend Request : Part I yet?


I have had my fair share of high school crushes, including a couple of teachers as well. Today, when I look back, it brings a smile on my face.

The one I find worth mentioning is the crush I had on my classmate in 10th grade. The interesting part is I was the boy Prefect and she was the girl Prefect, yet I barely spoke to her during the entire year. That’s how awkward and shy I used to be around girls (I still am). She was good looking, decent at academics and pretty good at sports. I really wanted to speak to her but had no courage to do so. I would spend most of my time avoiding eye contact whenever we were on Prefect duty, or even otherwise.

One day, some time in October, I made up by mind, summed up all the courage I had in me and wrote her a letter. I handed it the next time I ran into her the following day, barely managing to mutter to her that she open it once she gets home, and fled the scene without a second glance. I don’t remember what I wrote in that first letter (it was 11 years ago!), but it began a series of discreet letter exchanges for the rest of the year. We had a lot of beautiful, insightful conversations (despite the fact that we were only 15 year old) and shared some secrets too.

I was put at ease when I found out she adored me for who I was rather than my achievements in school (academics, sports and extra-curricular activities), yet I never found the courage or confidence to speak face-to-face to her.

I wish I had.


Update (2 February 2016):

Okay. I am 26, and I have a crush on my 18 year old distant cousin (father’s cousin’s daughter). Even though I know she is a legal adult, I keep telling myself that it is wrong on so many levels. And the 8 year age gap is only the first of many reasons/excuses.

Till only a few years ago when I was in college, she was still a little school girl, who I loved to play with. She matured into a beautiful college-going young woman, it was like seeing her for the first time all over again. She is sweet, cute and really friendly. I have taken her to the movies and we hang out at malls. I get the feeling she looks up to me as an elder brotherly figure in her life, and I don’t want to ruin that. Besides, I got no convincing way of confirming how she perceives me. I don’t think I will ever know. I am not a very proactive person or somebody who would do something crazy without weighing the complete pros and cons of the repercussions.

Like Zitin Bhan says, I’ll just wait it out till it passes. Or begins to sound funny/silly.

Edit: She is my father’s cousin’s daughter, that makes her a cross cousin. It is perfectly acceptable in most cultures, especially the one I belong to. (Source: Parallel and cross cousins) and she is a legal adult. I have my values in place, and I am a law-abiding citizen.

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Does this comes across as creepy? It is just a crush, for heaven’s sake!


Update (21 August 2018):

Two and a half years since I wrote this answer, I am glad to announce that this crush of mine has long subsided. I’m in a happy place and it is going to remain that way. I’ll admit, though, that looking back, this still sounds very silly, haha.


Update (12 September 2018):

I was way too shy and fidgety in school to speak to any girl. I didn’t even interact enough with the girl prefect. In 8th standard, there was a girl named Nisha Jain in class, and obviously her roll number was 15, since mine was 14. Some of my friends (Nishant and Rameez) used to tease me with “1415”. I never spoke to her that year, or ever. Recently, like a week ago, I found out that she is married and works in San Francisco as a makeup artist/fashion designer. Good for her!

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