Have you read Uno : Inside The Phone Booth (1970) yet?

The Hogwarts Castle looked even more beautiful at night, with all the windows in the towers and turrets illuminated from the lamps within. He stood in the middle of the Quidditch Pitch, and looked up at the castle, and quietly admired the sight. It was his first year as caretaker at Hogwarts. It had been a month into the new term, and most of the students had already taken a liking to him. The professors and prefects depended on him to keep order, and he had been pretty efficient at his job, so far. He was a big improvement on Argus Filch. Of course, he still had his fans among the student community, but then, it’s not possible to please everybody all the time. He was only 24 years old, although he liked to tell stories to the first years as though pretending he were a 61 year old man.

He stood there in the middle of a September night. There was a chilly breeze. He pulled his scarf tighter around his neck. It was his usual rounds around the ground before bed time. He usually walked up to Hagrid’s to say hello, but today he noticed the light in the Library was still burning. Could it be students out of bed? He had to find out. So he decided he would go to Hagrid’s next morning to make up for today. Tomorrow was Saturday, so he could afford a late breakfast with the giant of a man.

He walked swiftly towards the castle entrance, the end of his robes sweeping the grass behind him. If only they allowed Apparition, at least in case of emergencies. He didn’t like the idea of “walking” into trouble, he preferred arriving with a bang. He wondered if the Librarian had forgotten to lock the Library after closing time. How negligent of her, he thought to himself. But then he didn’t really know her so well either, so he took back his own words. She was the same age and had joined this year. So she was as new to the staff as he was. But they had been in the same year when they were students at Hogwarts. She had been a Hufflepuff, while he was in Ravenclaw. He had always been shy, so even though he had a slight crush on her since fourth year, he had never spoken to her. She was smart, sweet & kinds to all. He always made a point to keep an eye on her at the Hufflepuff House table in the Great Hall. That habit had never given away, because he still did that at the staff table these days. He shook his head to himself as he remembered those years. She’s changed now, he thought. We’re not school kids anymore.

He reached the entrance steps, and as he passed the castle doors, he took out his wand and locked it behind him, for the night. He quickly turned the corner and reached the entrance to the Library. It was open. He walked in. The Reading Room was totally empty. He saw light coming from the Librarian’s Office. Could it be students up to mischief there? He quickly walked towards the Office, past rows of bookshelves. His footsteps echoed through the Hall, but he didn’t really mind it. The Library was empty, and there was no Librarian to hush him. Besides he wasn’t a student anymore, so he would have liked to see her try. Wait, was that a naughty thought he just had?

He reached the door, and just as he was about to pull it open, there was a loud bang, the door flew open, he was on the floor and someone was on top of him, the wand pointing at his nose. Everything happened so quickly he had no time to react at all. After a moment of slow realization, he recognized her standing with her wand pointed at him in the dark. “Hey, it’s just me- Novellus! Relax!” he said. She took a step back and said, “Lumos”. The light from her wand lit up her face. She was still just as pretty as he remembered her as a teenager. No, she was prettier now, he argued with himself. But the voice was still just as sweet.

She tried to hide her embarrassment. “I’m sorry about that. I thought it was–” she drifted. He wanted to ask “Thought it was what?” but instead “What are doing up here all alone in the middle of the night? You should be in bed, you know?” he said, as he got up and adjusted his robes.

“I know. But I’m preparing for this entrance exam. I want to be an Auror. This is just a temporary job.” she said, motioning him to follow her. She walked in and held the door to her Office open, “Come on in. I’ll make you some hot chocolate. You’re still pale from the shock of being overpowered by me.” she smiled. Oh dear, that smile. He was ready to be overpowered a hundred times just to see that smile. He walked in and she closed the door behind him. He noticed her table was full of thick-bound volumes of reference books and parchment scrolls. She was serious about wanting to be an Auror. He already began to imagine her as one, overpowering dark wizards. But he kept imagining the dark wizard to be him, and she was on top of him. ‘What is the matter with you?’, he thought to himself.

Their eyes met, there was fire in her eyes, but her cheeks were flushed bright pink, her eyelashes flickered before she looked away. What was that all about? He failed to understand. He was always bad at picking up signs from women anyway. She had her hair tied loosely in a bun at the back, held by a pin, some of it spilling onto her cheeks. As she turned to pour chocolate into cups, he glanced at her rear. Was she this hot and gorgeous looking always? “So what were you doing here at this hour? Stalking me?” passing him a cup of hot chocolate. She sat on the edge of her desk, mostly because there were books on her chair!

“What, no!” (“Oooh, can I?” was what he would have asked if not for better sense prevailing), taking the cup and settling in one of the chairs opposite her desk. “I was looking for this book, which is in the restricted section…”

That’s right. He had to lie right at this moment. Why he lied, he had no idea. He was expecting another probe into why he would need a reference book at his hour, but she got up and said, “Let’s go get your book.”

‘Ok. Now what?’ he thought. He followed her outside and through rows of bookshelves again and to the Reference Section. She opened it with a wave of her wand. He walked behind her. She was almost as tall as him. What was that feeling in his stomach? Was it the high school crush butterflies? He had thought he had outgrown them. That was years ago. He had a good look at her from behind as she walked, and the only thing he wanted right in that moment was to take this woman from the rear, right then & there. But he controlled himself. Only just. He had rarely even spoken to her, in all those years of school, even after graduating.


“You know, I always came down here. The Library was my one alternate to anything. So when I chose to become an Auror, and I heard about the job opening at Hogwarts, I thought ‘Bingo!’, what better to ask for. I could do all my reading when the students sleep, I have the whole Library to myself. Because that’s what Hermione did, right? When in doubt, go to the Libr—” before she could finish that sentence, his lips met hers. He had been unable to control himself any longer. She was too sexy to stay away from. Her first impulse was to push him away, but when he persisted and pushed her against the bookshelf, pinning her hand to her sides, she gave in. She began to kiss him back. After an eternity, they separated.

“I’m sorry about the suddenness. I always had this crush on you back in school, you know. Today just reminded me of all those years ago. I couldn’t stop myself”, he tried to sound apologetic, but he could have bet his Gringotts vault number he couldn’t stop grinning at what he had just managed to do. Kissed a girl he had always liked, in the middle of the night, in a deserted section of the Library. Wow.

“Oh my God. And I had a crush on you. But you never asked me out again after that one date seven years ago, and I was too afraid it would ruin our friendship”, she exclaimed, her cheeks now even more pink than before. She was blushing! He had made her blush! And he couldn’t believe what he was hearing either. Was it all a dream? “Well, I’m glad we cleared some things today”, he said. He thanked the heavens for helping him keep his calm demeanor. He was jumping with excitement and hunger inside. “So um—”


“Yeah. You don’t get any book for this act of misconduct. You deserve punishment. In my office. Now.”

Once inside the office, they could barely keep their hands off each other. They took off each other’s robes, lips still interlocked tightly. In a hurry to take his shirt off, she pulled so hard at it, it split at the seam. She giggled, and ran her hands down his back. He took off her dress in two swift motions. Boy, he really was on some form today. Somehow, it made her giggle harder. He pressed his lips against hers again, and pushed her against the wall of the office. She let out a low moan.

He let her go while she took off her underwear, and in one motion, he swept her office desk off all books, paper scrolls & quills. They crashed to the floor in a heap. He placed his hands on her hips and lifted her off the ground, and placed her on the edge of her desk. He bent over her and kissed her all over. She gasped for breath. He kissed her arms, shoulders and neck. Then he fondled her breasts and sucked at her nipples. She let out a squeal in pleasure and excitement. She sat up to unbutton her jeans and he pulled it down. She gasped at what she saw. “Yeah. You are the ‘Engorgio’ charm that it needed.” She almost jumped on to him for saying that. He couldn’t believe his luck. He was doing all the right things today. He took her legs, spread them apart and placed it over his shoulders. As he entered her, she closed her eyes and screamed his name out loud. That only egged him on. He pushed harder and harder till they were moving back and forth in one motion. Her hands were tied behind his neck. And their eyes burned into each other. It was pure lust. Or love. Now wasn’t the time to argue over it. But there was a deep connection, he could tell. She let go of him and lay down on the table, and screamed for more. He was only happy to oblige. She scratched at the surface of the desk, while he placed his hands over her breasts and pinched them hard, all the while still rocking back and forth. In one final movement, he let out a final “Yes!” while she cried out loud.

He climbed onto the desk to lie down next to her. They lay there in silence, looking up at the ceiling, as they waited for their breathing to get back to normal. Then she turned towards him, and laid her head on his outstretched arm. She ran her fingers over one of his nipples, “You know, I always knew you liked me that way. But you never had the courage to tell me about it. All you ever needed was a little push, and some luck.”

He was confused. What push? What luck? But he was so immersed in the satisfaction of the moment, he let it pass. He continued to stare at the ceiling. He had just made the prettiest girl he ever knew scream his name, and just before that she had admitted that she liked him too. How much better could this day get?

He looked over to her side. She had closed her eyes, and was humming a tune away, in peace. She had pulled his shirt over her naked body, it barely covered her private parts. He looked over her shoulder and noticed the hot chocolate mugs they had abandoned. His eyes moved towards the jar of chocolate, and then to the tiny vial next to it.

It had ‘Felix Felicis‘ labelled across it.

Continue to Tres : The Perfect Wake Up Call (1984).


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